TCF Boise | Live Series: Finding the Joy In Christmas December 2020


 TCF Boise | Live Series: Finding the Joy In Christmas

December 2020


Christmas time is supposed to be filled with joy, laughter, family, and gifts. After you lose a child, none of that seems to matter anymore. Things that you once did as a family make you sad, traditions don’t feel the same with someone missing, and pictures of Christmases past are eerie and sad reminders of how things used to be. How can we find joy amongst all the sadness and pain?

Article: https://www.tcf.org.uk/content/coping-with-christmas/

Questions you may be asking yourself:

  1. Do we decorate the tree?

  2. Do we send a Christmas card or take a family picture without our child? Use an old photo?

  3. Go to a family party or stay home?

  4. If you have young children still, do you keep up with the “normal” Christmas spirit?


Tips for navigating through the Christmas parties/events/family

  • Plan to have no plan. 

    • Tell people you don’t know how you will feel on the actual day and you may or not be there. Don’t let anyone tell you what you should or shouldn’t be doing.

  • Tell people what you want and are comfortable with. 

    • They probably won’t talk about your child, toast, set them a place at the table, etc unless you say you want and/or ok with that.  

    • Talk with them about how you are feeling. Sometimes family can bring comfort when you learn how they are grieving the loss (though differently of course). 

  • Spend time with people who understand and are helpful. Don’t spend time with those that don’t. 

  • If the idea of Christmas just isn’t in the picture, get out of town! Christmas is just another Friday this year. 


Article: http://www.untiliholdyouagain.com/grieving-holidays-child-loss/

Ways to include and remember your child at Christmas

  • Sign cards with their name

  • Remembrance gifts

    • Signs, sayings, or decorations that have sentimental value

    • Ornaments

  • Develop a new family tradition to remember your child (light a candle for Wave a Light, set their place at the table, tell stories of memories of previous Christmases with them, 

  • Keeping up the same traditions can be a comfort if you have children who are young and still feel the Christmas spirit.



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Reading: My Yellow Balloon & Discussion

Image
  Reading: My Yellow Balloon & Discussion My Yellow Balloon written by Tiffany Papageorge Illustrated by Erwin Madrid Published by Minoan Moon Publishing This children’s book was beautifully written for children who are grieving. Kristina & Steffanie read the book and discuss how even adults can relate to the overwhelming sadness and daily struggles that Joey encounters after he loses his yellow balloon. #watchreadlisten to learn how Joey’s grief changes over time as he walks through his grief journey to a place where he finds both hope and joy. Here are some of the quotes that we found relatable: “Then one day in one second everything changed.”      All tragedies are so unexpected. It only takes one second and your entire world is upside down. "Let’s go get you a new toy. That will make you feel better.”     Do you have other children who are still alive? Has anyone ever said, “You have other kids. You should be thankful for them.” Ugh. Who says that? I often feel like sa
Read more

What’s Helpful For The Newly Bereaved

Image
 What’s Helpful  For The Newly Bereaved Hey Everyone! Our newest video is ready and we can't wait to share it with you. T hank you for joining this journey with us. This blogcast can be useful for the newly bereaved who do not know exactly what they need or may not be able to vocalize it and also other people who just aren’t sure what to say or do to be helpful to someone who has just lost a child.  Coming from two bereaved mothers who have heard it all, please listen closely. What you say and do at this time for the person or people who are grieving means the world to them.  If you are a friend or a family member of someone that has recently lost a child, here are some helpful tips: Meals, groceries, supplies, and paper products are GREAT! Don't be afraid to say the name of their child. Parents love to hear their child's name. It might make them cry, but those tears are healing! Let them cry. Another great thing is to gather pictures and start a scrapbook. When pictures
Read more

Check-In & What's Happening

Image
Check-In & What’s Happening With Sunflowers & Red Feathers Our Interview Series is slowing down and we are looking for more topics for our episodes. We recently just had both of our boys’ birthdays and are trying to find our “normal” again.  We know it has been a crazy year. Last March everything kind of just shut down and not too much has changed in that regard this year which makes it even more crucial to have the support you need. Between insane weather, a pandemic, and more heartache than most can handle, the community you build is going to be what you need most. If you are in need of help finding your new normal, reach out. That's what we are here for. Until next time, we wish you all hope, joy, beauty and love. -Sunflowers & Red Feathers Check out our  flowpage  to see how you can #watchreadlisten to our episodes!
Read more