TCF Boise | Live Series: Finding the Joy In Christmas December 2020


 TCF Boise | Live Series: Finding the Joy In Christmas

December 2020


Christmas time is supposed to be filled with joy, laughter, family, and gifts. After you lose a child, none of that seems to matter anymore. Things that you once did as a family make you sad, traditions don’t feel the same with someone missing, and pictures of Christmases past are eerie and sad reminders of how things used to be. How can we find joy amongst all the sadness and pain?

Article: https://www.tcf.org.uk/content/coping-with-christmas/

Questions you may be asking yourself:

  1. Do we decorate the tree?

  2. Do we send a Christmas card or take a family picture without our child? Use an old photo?

  3. Go to a family party or stay home?

  4. If you have young children still, do you keep up with the “normal” Christmas spirit?


Tips for navigating through the Christmas parties/events/family

  • Plan to have no plan. 

    • Tell people you don’t know how you will feel on the actual day and you may or not be there. Don’t let anyone tell you what you should or shouldn’t be doing.

  • Tell people what you want and are comfortable with. 

    • They probably won’t talk about your child, toast, set them a place at the table, etc unless you say you want and/or ok with that.  

    • Talk with them about how you are feeling. Sometimes family can bring comfort when you learn how they are grieving the loss (though differently of course). 

  • Spend time with people who understand and are helpful. Don’t spend time with those that don’t. 

  • If the idea of Christmas just isn’t in the picture, get out of town! Christmas is just another Friday this year. 


Article: http://www.untiliholdyouagain.com/grieving-holidays-child-loss/

Ways to include and remember your child at Christmas

  • Sign cards with their name

  • Remembrance gifts

    • Signs, sayings, or decorations that have sentimental value

    • Ornaments

  • Develop a new family tradition to remember your child (light a candle for Wave a Light, set their place at the table, tell stories of memories of previous Christmases with them, 

  • Keeping up the same traditions can be a comfort if you have children who are young and still feel the Christmas spirit.



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