Living the Taboo Life


Living the Taboo Life 

The subject of death often is not something you generally bring up with just anyone, but most of the time when you do, it’s something other people can empathize with - the loss of a grandparent, a pet, or even to a tragedy such as cancer or other terminal illness. However, as a bereaved parent, not many people you come across on a daily basis can empathize with our struggle. Bringing up the fact that our child died is a taboo topic.


When you become a bereaved parent, there is nothing that is normal anymore. You can be having a really rough day in your grief but to share that with a perfect stranger or even someone you know is kind of an awkward thing to do. It's not that you are awkward or that talking about your child is awkward; it's just the fact that it's uncomfortable for people that do not know how to relate. Children aren't supposed to die. It messes with our normal life cycle/timeline. That is what makes it awkward and a taboo topic.


Whether it is 3 weeks into your grief journey or 3 years into your journey, it doesn't make it any easier. We could be in the line at the grocery store when the sweet older lady in front of you asks you about your kids or how you are doing and if you answer that you are struggling just due to the fact that you are missing your kid, it is sure to be a conversation end-er. It might solicit even more questions like "Oh, how long has it been?" (as if we needed a reminder or a timeline on how long we are allowed to have rough days) and you get the look of ' aren't you over it by now'. As Kristina has said before, it makes you feel like you don't even want to tell them how long ago because the more time that goes by, people will assume it doesn't hurt as bad anymore.


One thing you learn as a bereaved parent is that we now have to give ourselves and others a whole lot more grace because we feel things with so much more intensity and other people frankly don't have a clue. Honestly, it's not their fault or your own.


If you find yourself in an uncomfortable position when talking about your child, take heart knowing that it is going to be okay. We need to keep talking about our children. We need to say their names, and more importantly, we need to hear them. Maybe if we talk about our grief more regularly, the "taboo" stigma of it all will go away. Wouldn't that be beautiful?


Are there moments in your life that you have witnessed this? What did you do to combat it or help you cope with this new way of living?


Until next time,

-Sunflowers & Red Feathers

Check out our flowpage to see how you can #watchreadlisten to our episodes!


Quotes in the blogcast can be found in these articles:

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